Dec 13, 2010

TSA Welcomes U.S. Troops Home

As the Chalk Leader for my flight home from Afghanistan, I witnessed the following:

When we were on our way back from Afghanistan, we flew out of Baghram Air Field. We went through customs at BAF, full body scanners (no groping), had all of our bags searched, the whole nine yards. Our first stop was Shannon, Ireland to refuel. After that, we had to stop at Indianapolis, Indiana to drop off about 100 folks from the Indiana National Guard. That's where the stupid started. First, everyone was forced to get off the plane-even though the plane wasn't refueling again. All 330 people got off that plane, rather than let the 100 people from the ING get off. We were filed from the plane to a holding area. No vending machines, no means of escape. Only a male/female latrine.
It's probably important to mention that we were ALL carrying weapons. Everyone was carrying an M4 Carbine (rifle) and some, like me, were also carrying an M9 pistol. Oh, and our gunners had M-240B machine guns. Of course, the weapons weren't loaded. And we had been cleared of all ammo well before we even got to customs at Baghram, then AGAIN at customs.
The TSA personnel at the airport seriously considered making us unload all of the baggage from the SECURE cargo hold to have it reinspected. Keep in mind, this cargo had been unpacked, inspected piece by piece by U.S. Customs officials, resealed and had bomb-sniffing dogs give it a one-hour run through. After two hours of sitting in this holding area, the TSA decided not to reinspect our Cargo-just to inspect us again: Soldiers on the way home from war, who had already been inspected, reinspected and kept in a SECURE holding area for 2 hours. Ok, whatever. So we lined up to go through security AGAIN.
This is probably another good time to remind you all that all of us were carrying actual assault rifles, and some of us were also carrying pistols.
So we're in line, going through one at a time. One of our Soldiers had his Gerber multi-tool. TSA confiscated it. Kind of ridiculous, but it gets better. A few minutes later, a guy empties his pockets and has a pair of nail clippers. Nail clippers. TSA informs the Soldier that they're going to confiscate his nail clippers. The conversation went something like this:

TSA Guy: You can't take those on the plane.

Soldier: What? I've had them since we left country.

TSA Guy: You're not suppose to have them.

Soldier: Why?

TSA Guy: They can be used as a weapon.

Soldier: [touches butt stock of the rifle] But this actually is a weapon. And I'm allowed to take it on.

TSA Guy: Yeah but you can't use it to take over the plane. You don't have bullets.

Soldier: And I can take over the plane with nail clippers?

TSA Guy: [awkward silence]

Me: Dude, just give him your damn nail clippers so we can get the f**k out of here. I'll buy you a new set.

Soldier: [hands nail clippers to TSA guy, makes it through security]

To top it off, the tsa demanded we all be swabbed for "explosive residue" detection. Everyone failed, [go figure, we just came home from a war zone], because we tested positive for "Gun Powder Residue". Who the F**K is hiring these people?
This might be a good time to remind everyone that approximately 233 people re-boarded that plane with assault rifles, pistols, and machine guns-but nothing that could have been used as a weapon.

Can someone please tell me What the F**K happened to OUR country while we were gone?

Sgt. Mad Dog Tracy

Oct 27, 2010

Look What's Coming Out of the White House

Back to Kenya and take that damn fake birth certificate with you!

Oct 26, 2010

Baskin Robbins New Ice Cream Flavor

In honor of the 44th President of the United States Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor:
Barocky Road.
Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.
The cost is $100.00 per scoop.
When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but after you pay for it, the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you at no charge.
You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.
Are you stimulated yet?

Oct 11, 2010

Why Didn't We Think of This in America ....

Can it be this simple?
Why didn't WE think of this Sooner????
In Seville, Spain, the City Council authorized the construction of a Mosque on one of the empty pieces of land. The citizens did not want the mosque built in their vicinity and found a brilliant solution. They buried a pig in the land, and made the news public.
The Islamic law prohibits the construction of a mosque on lands desecrated by remains of pigs, therefore the Muslims had to renounce the construction on this desecrated land...
Astute Seville? The commentaries of the Civil Guard (Police) are very interesting. Maybe it is the solution needed by New York to avoid the construction of a mosque in the vicinity
of the twin towers.
The Israelis have been using a similar strategy since 2004. They placed a box containing pig lard on the buses in Israel and made it public that any kamikaze suicide bomber who tries to assault a bus, risks the prohibition of entering heaven by getting the pig lard all over them.
There are no suicide bombers on the buses in Israel any more.
Dead Pig

Sep 28, 2010

Treasured Entrepreneur

Tragedy strikes again.
Another heartbreak for New Orleans.
It seems like every couple of days New Orleans loses one of its treasured entrepreneurs.
These people are the hope for the city and we must call a halt to this unfortunate trend if we ever expect to see a vibrant city again.

Imagine if you will - He's 25 and has 3 sons and 6 daughters
NINE welfare recipients collecting $1500 each, that equals $13,500 a month. Now add food stamps, free medical, free school lunches, on and on and on.
Now that, to me, is a real Entrepreneur.
Do the math, that's over $156,000.00 a year.
Anybody out there sitting' on there ass making that kind of money?